Author: Correspondent
Date: February 11, 2007
Type of article: News Extra
Source: The Daily Nation - only available online by registration and paid subscription fee

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Kenyan society is sexually dysfunctional. That is the verdict of sociologists, family counsellors and doctors.

Kenyans, though they have a generous appetite for sexual intimacy, are frustrated and unwilling to talk about it. They are also ignorant about sex and won’t ask questions about the things they need know to live a fuller life. 

According to the experts, Kenyans must change their attitudes: Ignorance is no virtue and knowledge does not produce promiscuity.

“It is not about procreation only. It is the mother of every relationship, the basis of everyone’s wellbeing and the cement that holds relationships and, therefore, families together. Families are the foundation of our society,” says Mrs Lucy Kiathe, a counsellor at Amani Counselling Centre and Training Institute.

Conservative attitude

It is due to society’s conservative attitude that thousands of people attending the World Social Forum trooped to the tent where discussions on sexual orientation and preference were taking place. The throngs were horrified when two Kenyans publicly admitted their homosexuality, sparking public debate and discussion.

It was the same thing last week, when a little-known church called Grace of Harvest organised a week-long “sexual revolution conference”. The church received attention from the media and wide attendance from a public curious to know what the conference was saying — or doing — about sex. 

The topics for discussion from “how to bring sex back to the church”, “sex as a form of worship” provoked heated debate among participants, many furious and “scandalised” that a church could bring up such issues for discussion.

Strong family

“Great sex lays a firm foundation for a strong family, which is the most important unit of society. Good sex keeps the family together. Couples which manage to achieve compatibility will have no reason to wander away from the marital bed. This, in turn, means fewer chances of contracting diseases such as Aids,” Pastor Adeyemi Adefarasin from Benin told the participants.

Dr Pius Mutie, a sociologist at the University of Nairobi, said: “Although we are not talking about sex, it is still killing us. That is a fact. I strongly believe talking about sex freely within the family, society, religious and educational institutions would help people manage sex and sexuality.”

Due to conservative attitudes, there is no training for young people on how to manage their sexuality, and the opportunities and dangers it portends. 

Anecdotal information from Population Services International’s Chill Club programme that targets 10-15-year-olds in primary schools shows that most young Kenyans learn about sex from their peers, older siblings, and movies, not their parents or teachers.